Where are you from?
I was born in the U.S. to American parents, but I have Aussie in my blood. My family’s greats hail from down under—that’s where the name Breville comes from. All through growing up, though, I wanted to be like the Italian machines. My features became my mode of expression. I would imagine saying something singsongy in Italian as I waved my steamer. Anyways, short answer is I’m an Australian-American, wannabe Italian. So, when you named me Alfredo, I was beside myself! I tried to keep it together because I was worried about making a good first impression, but there were definitely happy tears in that first espresso shot.
What’s it like to have someone push your buttons all the time?
Well, that’s the price you pay for being an espresso machine. Someone is always pushing your buttons, but you must maintain composure since it’s your job to produce excellence from the moment that little bugger—the on button—is pushed. You’ll notice I grumble a bit when that happens. Don’t take it personally, I’m just waking up! Then it’s a series of button pressing…needless to say, it’s a very emotional experience every time I make your coffee. Grinding the beans helps—it gives me something to seek my teeth into. And of course, my steamer lets me blow off some steam. That’s a win-win situation—I get to scream a little bit and you get some fancy, frothy milk. Don’t worry, I don’t spit in it.
What’s that little bucket sitting next to you?
Oh, that’s my poop bucket! It’s like an espresso machine’s porta potty. After I’ve made your espresso, the grounds are no good, which is a nicer way of saying I’ve pooped. So that cute little bucket is a dump for my dumps. Too much information? Sorry. You asked!
Do you ever spill the beans?
Nope. Your secrets are safe with me. I like to think the conversations that happen around me are the sexier version of water cooler talk. I mean have you seen how sleek and shiny I am? No offense to water coolers. They’re bulky and plasticky, but I respect them for all the office drama they put up with. You know, “Dave said this, Cheryl said that…someone left their dishes in the sink…come on, Steve!” It makes sense that they run hot and cold as the drama runs on. I only run hot. (*winks*) I battle the stereotype of being hot-headed, but really my head is just full of beans. I’m a little spacy at times, and I daydream a lot. I know when it’s time to get back to the grind, though. As Beyoncé would say, “I dream it, I work hard, I grind till I own it.” Formation is my jam.
What’s that tray at the bottom all about?
This is like my sweat band. Making espresso is hard work! I sweat a lot and the tray catches it. And just like you wring out your sweat band, my tray needs emptying every now and then. A cute little sign will pop up when it’s time. I hope emptying it makes you appreciate how hard I’ve worked. Have you noticed my guns—and buns—of steel? (*winks*)
Single vs double?
Double, duh. But I’m single…and ready to mingle! After all, how many first dates happen over coffee? I’ll show you a grind time. Bring your own mug. (*grins*)
