A Q&A with Tempeh

Q: So, can you tell me your credentials on spewing advice on plant-based diets?

A: Well, I’m made of plants, which means I’m literally plant based. It’s in my blood, as you humans would say. And I’m telling you all this stuff knowing full well you might go out and snatch my brethren from the alternative meat section, so really, I’m a martyr of my kind. Anyway…

Q: That got deep. Can you tell us where you come from? You know, know where your food comes from and all that.

A: Yeah, so I come from soybeans, just like tofu, but we’re made differently. Tofu is made of coagulated soy milk, with a curdling process, while I’m made of cooked and fermented soybeans. This is what makes me more flavorful—no offense, tofu—and nuttier. In taste, I mean, though I am a bit of a nutter too. By the way, did you know Nutter Butters are vegan? Oreos too, while we’re at it. Two points for Gryffindor!

Q: Cute. But why should anyone care about eating plants. I mean, it doesn’t exactly sounds enticing.

A: And eating animals does? I mean, it’s not exactly nice to think about, is it? But aside from the very valid animal welfare perspective, there’s the environment and your personal health. Plant-based diets are just more eco-friendly, which you probably already knew, but maybe you think that’s treehugger business. Fun fact: it’s all our business. You live on earth, right? Then take good care of your home—it’s that simple. And you also live in your body, so you should be nice to it too. Plant-based diets are proven to be healthier. More nutrients, less saturated fat, less cholesterol, just as much protein. I emphasize protein because it’s a common misunderstanding that vegans don’t get enough. You should read this article about plant-based diets being just fine for endurance athletes. If people running marathons can get by on plants, so can you. And if you’re a marathoner, kudos. Anyway, plants give you all that you need, plain and simple. Never underestimate the power of a leaf…or soy. *winks*

Q: Okay, okay. I think there’s also the idea that plant-based foods can’t get you full. So you have to eat all the time. What do you say to that?

A: Have you tried a monstrous tempeh burger? Beefy, seasoned tempeh strips, plus all the usual fixings, sans cheese of course, will get you there. Or vegan pizza. Or a hearty bowl of soyrizo chili. Or avocado carbonara. I could go on. Suffice it to say, just because it’s made of plants doesn’t mean you won’t be satisfied. Another pro tip: adding nuts, nut butters, and olive oil will stave off hunger longer, like any kind of animal-derived fat would. These plant-based fats are just better for ya.

Q: And what about the social side of this. How do vegans deal with being invited to dinner parties and stuff like that?

A: Yeah, sure, it can be awkward at first to tell your friends and family that oh, by the way, I’m vegan now. But you get the hang of it. And like, really, who cares? So you pass on the platter of BBQ chicken as it gets passed around or say no thank you to that dairy-laden cheesecake. Big deal. Here’s the kicker: bring what you want to eat, knowing full well how good it is, and you can share it and show off your stuff to others. If you’re too lazy to BYO, then load up on the plant-based sides. You’ll feel better anyway. But really, it’s no biggie. To each their own. Live and let live. Like the animals. Just sayin’.

Q: Touché. So, what does a plant-based person bring to a party?

A: Ha! This sounds like the start of a good joke.

To be continued…